We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

I​-​15 Dream

by Dew for Slug

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $4.99 USD  or more

     

1.
Opening Move 03:28
Your mom puts the little ones in the back of the car. "Quit your crying" she says. "We're not going very far." But you all know that's a lie. It's at least a ten hour drive to the grandparents. Your dad is loading suitcases into the luggage carrier, and the middle child comes outside with the tarrier. And yeah, I don't really know if this is how your morning goes, but I think it might be. And you know I'm on my way. ...or did you forget? Then I imagine you're waving goodbye to three kids, a dog and your parents, as the sun begins to rise. You'll hold down the fort, and you'll work for the guy down the road, I forgot his name. We haven't met up in ages, been a year of uncertainty. You're not returning my phonecalls, and that really worries me. I'm in the street begging for bus fare, but soon I will be there and I'll hold you tightly. And you know I'm on my way. ...or did you forget?
2.
The liquor store's closed this time of night. A glimpse of the Savior in a gas station light. Grab a case of beer. Hope for the best. Smoke ten to fifteen cigarettes. Hope for the best. Step on the bus, worn bag on the shoulder. Try to sit down but no one moves over. Find a seet by the back door. Cast rude looks at the riders. Retreat in the mind like an old hermit spider. Like a hermit spider. Does he want to see me? Does he remember I'm coming? Knees pressed in the seat in front of me. Heart thumping. Yeah my heart is thumping. And it all rushes back. Catching eyes in the pews. Wearing his coat, and wearing his shoes. There's no place to stay, and he's back at home. Just for the spring, and then he'll be gone. Yeah then he'll be gone. Does he want to see me? Does he remember I'm coming? Knees pressed into the seat in front of me. Heart thumping. Yeah my heart is thumping.
3.
Was a long bus ride. At least for me. With the look on your face when I appear, I start to doubt every thing. No more of my family around. Couple of weeks where they won't be in our way. And the last time that I heard your voice was a week ago on the phone, when you had something to say. Do I put those bags under your eyes? Do I overwhelm you? Do I put those bags under your eyes? When I'm around you?
4.
You're still asleep when I wake up. Sorry I came in late last night, but I'm here. Isn't that enough? Listen to you snore until five minutes are up. Have to drag myself out the bedroom door before I wake you up. And you'll sleep, soundly. And you'll sleep, without me. Make some food before you get out of bed. You're still asleep, so I eat it all instead. I'll make some more eggs and toast when you're awake. Try and read a book, but I just can't concentrate. And you'll sleep, soundly. And you'll sleep, without me. And you'll sleep, I hope it's soundly. Do you sleep better without me?
5.
Sunrays blazing through the sky. Hurt my eyes, but it was fine. One day, speeding down the freeway, cigarette in my mouth, music loud. Leafing through a CD binder, the greatest hits for our trips. Your fingers pressed against my lips. Take the cig, take a hit. But now you don't smoke, and I'm on the porch alone. We hardly spoke when I came home. Searching through the roots and brambles, wilderness in our midst. One day, sleeping far away, cigarette in my mouth, bed on the ground. Sitting, boots outside the tent. A piece of Hell for ourselves. Your fingers pressed against my lips. Take the cig, take a hit. But now you don't smoke, and I'm on the porch alone. You sounded much more happy on the phone. Now you don't smoke, and I'm on the porch alone. We hardly spoke when I came home.
6.
If it's all coming down just like we've been told. Will we be on the left hand, or on the right hand of the Lord? Will we be chosen children in the presence of the Lord? Shouldering the sins of sodom, do you really want to stay here? Or will we go somewhere together? We'll depart on a day so clear. Far beyond the Salt Lake City, I'm just waiting for the sign to appear. I have shown the world my secrets. I deserve the flaming sword. I'll try not to scream when I tear my tongue out, even if it's behind closed doors. The only way you can redeem me is spill my blood out on this floor. Will we be chosen children in the presence of the Lord?
7.
It's only been three days and the gas station guy already knows my name. I feel it in his gaze. Judgement strong, I walk away in shame. You say he's new in the congregation but isn't it funny? Serving the lord in a Maverick shop, selling cigarettes for money. Well I guess we all have to compromise sometimes. You say you still might serve. Well I'd go back to the drawing board. It really sounds absurd, a homosexual man serving the Lord. You say there's a logical explaination, but isn't it funny? Serving the Lord when he hates your guts, what reaction do you expect from me? Well I guess we all have to compromise sometimes.
8.
I used up the last little bit of your family's toothpaste Rolled up the tube real tight, then loosened my grip. And I know that I probably look pretty desperate, but I feel like I've run out of sins to commit. Braving the cold all alone in the garden. watching the trees as they bend in the wind. Saying things to myself I should probably be saying to you, but I've started to think that some things never mend. And I'm desperately trying to get one more hit from the tip of this spliff. I think that I'll pack up my bags, metaphorically speaking. I've said this before, but you know, this time it's true. You say that I like to talk about myself, well I've run out of things to say about you. You and I can't exist on the same planet. When was the last time we could? Who can be sure. And if it's true when you say that you'll never drink again. I wouldn't say that we could anymore. And I'm desperately trying to get one more hit from the tip of this spliff. Yes I'm desperately trying to get one last hit from the tip of this spliff.
9.
You and me, doing things that we shouldn't be. Saying things you couldn't say when you're a priest by day. I hadn't felt that kind of intamacy, not since you baptised me into the fold. I have not seen if this kind of memory means to you what it means to me. Guess I'll never know. But that was four or five years ago. Now it's now, and your family is coming home. I think I should go.
10.
Sipping on a vodka soda, alone in a gay bar in Salt Lake City. There's this middle aged guy in the corner, wants to buy a drink for me. He says "Things aren't like they used to be for people like you and me. And I'm sure that there's still some work to do, but goddamn. Look at how things have changed!" Low on cash, so I take his offer. Couple of free rounds won't hurt this time. He gets loud, and the bartender asks him to leave. But thinking of you, his words stayed on my mind. Things aren't what they used to be, when it comes to you and me. And I don't know if I'll ever get through to you. But goddamn, Look at how we've changed. Goddamn, Look at how we've changed.

about

A queer Mormon love story

credits

released October 1, 2021

production and instrumentation by Dug Alcedo

songwriting and guitars by Thos Flowers

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Pelagoram Recordings Seattle, Washington

Seattle-based independent record label. May you ride on easy waves.

contact / help

Contact Pelagoram Recordings

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like I-15 Dream, you may also like: